Your Biggest Questions About Conscious Uncoupling | Katherine Woodward Thomas & Vishen Lakhiani

And what I want to do right
now, Katherine, is answer some frequently asked questions. Now, the first and most common question
we get is, “Do I need to do this with my partner?” Absolutely not. I’d say that most of the people who do
it are people who are just coming in as individuals, and those people
don’t even ever want to speak to that person again, which, you know,
if someone behaves really badly is understandable. We don’t have an agenda
that you need to be friends. We don’t have an agenda that
you need to stay connected. We certainly don’t have an agenda
that you need to do it as a couple. But if you do do it as an uncoupling
couple, we have certain instructions for you that we’ve created just for you. So we give you guidance
on how best to do that. But truthfully, the majority of people
who come into the program are single and are just struggling
with a hurting heart. – I see. Now the second question is,
“Is this relevant if I don’t have children or if I’m not married?” – Absolutely. And as a matter of fact, in many
ways, I’d say it’s if you want to be in a couple, a happy,
healthy relationship, I would say that it’s kind of mandatory
because you want to be able to turn your breakup into…which is really the worst
thing for many people that’s ever happened to them. But you want to be able to turn it into
the best thing that’s ever happened. And that’s always going to have to do with
wisdom gained and lessons learned that you can now pegboard into
your next relationship. You don’t want to take unfinished business
from a past partner into your new relationship because you will
sabotage that relationship. You want to go into your next relationship
clear, wise, having healed that wound, and having been, you know,
all the more capable of loving because of it. – Next question is, “I got divorced over
five years ago, will this still help?” – It is never too late to have
a conscious uncoupling. I’ve had people coming into the
process, you know, decades after. – And you don’t need
your other partner there. – You do not need that person there.
– It’s a personal process. – It’s a very personal process. But I will say that I’ve met people who,
many years after a bad breakup, had not even had so much as a date. And very often, we’ve been able
to trace it back to their heart. They thought the time could heal
everything and they thought that eventually, they’d get to a place,
you know, where they would find love again and they just didn’t and they didn’t know
why it wasn’t happening until they did conscious uncoupling. And then they kind of saw all of the
covert ways they had shut down, that they were guarded, that
they were pushing people away, even though they desperately wanted love. So I encourage people to come at any time
to conscious uncoupling so that you can actually be free to open your
heart and have love in your life. It’s too big a cost to pay to never let
anyone close to you again because you’ve been hurt in the past. And anyone who’s gone through a broken
heart knows that they never want that to happen again. So conscious uncoupling will actually have
you be able to heal that wound in a way that has you feel safe to open your
heart up to another person again. – Beautifully said. Now, what if…this is a question we got. The question is, “What if I’m hoping
to get back with my partner?” – Oh, that’s a great question. You know, a lot of people
do end up recoupling after doing conscious uncoupling. Because one of the things that the program
does, and this is why I can so clearly say that you will have an experience where you
can trust yourself moving forward to do this differently, is that I’m teaching
you, almost inadvertently as I’m taking you through the healing process,
some core skills that are necessary for healthy relationships. So, you know, like the self-soothing
that happens in the first week, or the ability to take personal
responsibility in the second week, or the third week where we look at your
core wounds and how that’s been playing out in relationships, and how do
you become conscious of that in such a way that you
don’t do that anymore. All of these things create
good relationships. So very often, people
will end up recoupling. However, what I suggest is that
you come in without an agenda, that you really come into complete
the dynamic of that relationship. Because if you do end up recoupling,
it’s going to be a different relationship with that person. So just keep your focus on
yourself and on doing the process and let go of the outcome. – Next question is, “What
if I’m in a relationship and I’m just thinking of leaving?” – I think it’s very smart of people to
come and to do conscious uncoupling as preventative medicine. How can I make sure that this is going to
go well so that our family stays intact or so that they don’t
devastate the other person? And you’re going to get some really good
tools about how to keep things on track to do this in a mindful,
kind, and respectful way. – And finally, “How is the online program
different from, say, reading the book?” – Well, the online program
is just not to be compared. I mean, the opportunity to be with other
people, to hear the sound of my voice, to see me with you every day on-demand
and also to be supported by the experts, the conscious uncoupling experts who
are there, it’s going to be a completely different experience and
will expedite your healing. I always recommend doing it in community. – It’s a form of personal healing
as well as group therapy. – Yeah. – And it’s powerful how this
process can so transform your life. So I’m so glad you came
into our lives, Katherine. – Thank you.
– Thank you. And thank you, guys, for joining in. Thank you all for being part
of the Mindvalley community. I’m so delighted that you could join us
today and I know we’ll be seeing you again pretty soon.